Meenakshi Rathore
Meenakshi Rathore is an avid traveler who has visited Kashmir for the fourth time. She has seen Kashmir from the eyes of a school going girl in 1987 to the times of ‘Stone pelting’ in 2010 and then immediately post Abrogation of Article 370 and 35A and also on it's anniversary. Being a healer and spiritual guide herself, she feels for the Kashmiri people and aspires for a peaceful and prosperous Kashmir. This story comes from her gallery of experiences in Kashmir.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.
Friedrich Nietzsche
I am Aneesha Ahmed, now residing forever in Paradise, in the true meaning. Yes I am in the realm of Allah beyond all rules, where I am experiencing eternal life, peace and love. There’s no pain, hurt or suffering. Here the senses are in a state of perfect grace so that the evil is seen in its true nature and we get to know how terrible the sin is ! It is clearly visible like seeing smelting rotting garbage and we would want to stay away from it, as far as we can. Such a sin was once carried out on earth by Aamir in virtual paradise ‘Kashmir’ which changed our lives forever.
Aamir? I don’t know what to call him. He was my soul mate. My Nikah was arranged with him just after I was born, he was four years then.
My father worked in a poultry farm, and so did Aamir’s. Both the families were not well-to-do but were content. I grew up in Aamir’s shadow. He always guarded and protected me. I also relied on him more than anyone else. He used to drop me to school and pick me back ensuring full safety for me. I was only fourteen when I gave up myself to Aamir. I loved him to the moon and back, hence could not say no to him. I was scared but knew that Aamir would not betray me. He kept me in a different world, a world full of dreams. He said that he can’t wait till I am eighteen, and will marry me as soon as he gets enlisted in the Army, which he had been dreaming since his childhood. He also said that his desire would be fulfilled soon and before next Ramzan he would be legally mine. Hearing this I had turned pink.
The Black Day Changed Our Lives
Life never remained the same. It was one of the black days of our lives when our village was cordoned by the Security Forces in search of a militant who had taken refuge somewhere in our neighbourhood. Soon, firing between them started and I started panicking and trembling with fear. Seeing my condition, Aamir ran towards me, pulled me and hiding me behind some wooden logs. We both held our breaths till the firing lasted. After 5-6 hrs, we came out of the hide holding each others hands tightly.
The scene in front of our eyes was not pleasant. His Baaji and younger brother, Ameen had been hit by the bullets in the cross firing and had died on the spot. Baaji’s Nikah was to be held next month. All of a sudden, our small world collapsed.
What had Ameen done? What had Baaji done?
Why were they killed?
Aamir was blank and deserted. But he gathered courage and performed all rituals of burial with a resolute face which I had never seen before.
After this incident, Aamir started staying aloof. His father got involved into drugs. The flashes of that black day kept haunting us and life was never same thereafter, but I knew my Aamir was the best and he would make everything alright.
One fine day, he left home saying that he had got a job in Srinagar. He started sending his earnings home and kept reminding me that before next Ramzan he would be legally mine. He also used to send some money to the needy people in our neighbourhood. Everyone in our community was proud of Aamir. He told everyone that he was working in a Cyber Cafe in Srinagar. Allah knows what kind of café it was, but it did not matter as my heart knew that my Aamir could never be sinful, he could never do wrong or evil. What I didn’t know was that the day Aamir left for Srinagar, he had been called by some community people who assured him that they would help him in taking revenge. He was also told that it was the police which had crumbled his small world. I faintly recollect that after Baaji and Ameen were killed, Aamir never spoke of getting enlisted in the Army.
As time passed, I realised that I was pregnant. Aamir was very excited and wanted to have the Nikah soon. The date was finalised. An evening prior to our Nikah, Aamir went to Shikara Bazaar which is adjoining to a Police Post. I was not aware for what work he had gone there. That evening we enjoyed the dance and music as a part of the ceremony. Both me and Aamir were eagerly waiting to be legally with each other. It was our Nikah morning, I wanted to look best and gift myself to Aamir. Hence, I went to a beauty parlour adjoining to the Police Post in the same area where Aamir had gone an evening prior. The parlour worker was applying Heena over my hands. Suddenly, there was a blast and my body blew up into hundreds of pieces. Now I know why Aamir had come to this area to plant a bomb and blow the Police Post.
The very next day, TV news said that a twenty year old boy was killed in an encounter with the police. And he was my Aamir. But why? Why did this happen?
Letter to Aamir
How will you face me Aamir, when will you come to Allah’s home ? How will you face your unborn child ? Abba and Ammi have lost everything and are begging to survive, because there’s no Aamir to take care of them. Everyone who was once proud of you, are calling you terrorist today. I keep telling them that my Aamir wanted a small sweet home with laughters of his cute little angel. But now, you are a sinner.
You let me down Aamir !!
Aamir, you need to answer me !
Why did you choose this destructive path ?
It was our ill fate that Baaji and Ameen were killed in the cross firing between terrorists and forces. No one was to be blamed for it but you got carried away and got manipulated by some radical elements and picked up the path of terror. There was no need to become a terrorist. When someone has an intention to kill, there is no justification to it in the court of Allah ! What so ever be the reason, whether he saw killings, or he was poor, or had a failed love affair, there’s no justification in becoming a terrorist and killing innocent people like me. A person like Burhan Wani, who was unable to imbibe values from his father. Similarly, if Sabzar Bhat picked up a gun because of his failed love affair, then probably he may not have been man enough to keep his women happy !
Even if the heavens fall on your head, there’s no justification in becoming a terrorist. If you have a problem, then it must be fought within the boundaries of law. There’s no justification for violence. Aamir, Allah would never be able to forgive you for the sins you did on our Paradise ‘Kashmir’ by killing innocents like our unborn little angel.
Some we regret, some we are proud of, Some will haunt us forever. We are what, we choose to be………
Graham Brown
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